Tales of the Territory: Volume 3 - you say Uluru, I say Ayers Rock

G'day

So the last of the three legs of my trip was to what they call the Red Centre. At least normally it's red (the soil that is) but they've had the most rain in the last year for over a decade so it was actually a lot greener than usual (and than I remember from when I was there in 1998). Alice Springs is the biggest town and centre for aboriginal art (bit pricey) but the real draws are out in the desert, around 275 miles from Alice, Ayers Rock and the Olgas. Or as they've been known since the land was returned to the aboriginal owners, Uluru and Kata Tjuta. The company had messed up my booking for this trip and so had upgraded me to make amends. This meant a smaller group (not so much fun as the previous one - three Swiss teenage girls who spoke German to each other a lot and some old men), proper bedding in the tents (and lights so I didn't have to use a torch), and food cooked for us (rather than us mucking in). Despite all this, and the, er, interesting guide we had (see below), it wasn't as good as the other legs, though Uluru was even more amazing than I remembered.

Day one: Kata Tjuta

White tourist in white t-shirt trying to blend in. At least the hair more or less matched the surroundings. View across Kata Tjuta at the start of the walk through the Valley of the Winds.

The Valley of the Winds

Kata Tjuta again. There are over 30 different peaks.

Kata Tjuta from a distance.

Our guide, pouring champagne and serving up the nibbles for our Uluru sunset. He called himself Sauce. He pretended (?) to be a serial killer. He wore very short shorts. He had very long hair. Nuff said.

Uluru sunset - with not a lot of sun. Still impressive though.

Day Two: Uluru

We had to get up early to get to Uluru for sunset. Luckily this was in winter and sunrise is later than summer (obviously) but we were still there at around 6.15am. It was sooo worth it though. The choice was between climbing it (did it before, very scary, locals don't like you doing it) or walking around the whole base - guess which I did.

Now it's rusty red.

Now it's orange. That's magic!

Now it's part of an arty-farty shot with a tree. That's pretentious! Last time I was here it was 47 degrees; this time it was around 8 degrees when we started the walk.

A water hole. The black marks are where the water runs down.

And that was it for Uluru. After a walk round the cultural centre it was a long drive north to our camp for the night near Kings Canyon. Because of all the rain there's been a massive increase in the mouse population (grasses have sprouted up after the rain and the mice eat the grasses) and we certainly had quite a few running around the camp. Plus a dingo or two that scared the you-know-what out of your author when he strolled away from the camp to take a look at the stars (worth it though as with no light population it was quite a show, including the smudgy mass of the Milky Way and my favourite constellation, the Southern Cross, only visible south of the equator).

Day Three: Kings Canyon

Er, like it says. The canyon is compact but beautiful.

Heart Attack Hill. The start of the walk along the rim. It wasn't as bad as the name suggests.

Glimmer of sun over the canyon.

Last time I was here you sat on the very edge and dangled your feet over the massive drop. Now you're not allowed to. Wowsers*, as the Aussies say.

Rock pool that I swam in last time. Now they ask you not to. Wowsers*.

View across the canyon.

Spinifex Pigeon - much cuter than the usual flying rat.

After the canyon it was a drive further north to look over this mountain-like mass called Gosse's Bluff. Actually it's the site of a meteorite impact and the 'mountain' is actually the rock that was pushed up by the impact. And then it was back to Alice Springs for a night before flying back to Melbourne, tired but happy.

More soon!

G'bye.

Cliff

* Wowsers are party-poopers/jobsworths

Tales of the Territory: volume 2 - All aboard, toot, toot!

G'day

So the next leg of my NT adventure was the journey from Darwin down the Stuart Highway to Alice Springs. This is a trip of nearly a thousand miles so you want to make sure you're with a good group of people and with a good guide. Luckily, I had both. Whereas on the Kakadu trip we'd had a full bus of around 18 people, this time there were just eight of us, a much more manageable number for the guide, especially one who was as excellent as Ben (catchphrase, said just before we set off each time, "All aboard? Toot, toot!" - not as annoying as you might think). The sights along the way were things I didn't really know much about, which made them all the better because I had no expectations. All in all, the best of the three trips.

DAY 1: DARWIN TO KATHERINE GORGE

War cemetery in Adelaide Creek. Northern Australia was under serious threat of Japanese invasion during WWII and Darwin was destroyed by bombing. Some of the people killed in the attacks are buried here.

It was a long drive down the Highway but by the afternoon we'd arrived at Katherine Gorge. Here we are setting off on a boat trip down the Gorge. Lovely.

One man and his gorge

One man and his attempt to stay in the shade

One man and his helicopter. And yes, it was a real helicopter despite looking like a toy one in this photo.

View down the Gorge from the (real) helicopter.

DAY 2: KATHERINE TO TENNANT CREEK
After a surprisingly cold night (it got down to around 5 degrees and one sleeping bag really wasn't sufficient) we set off down the highway again. First stop was Mataranka and a beautiful thermal pool (no pic, sorry) that was built by soldiers during the war - for their officers. Luckily, these days anyone can swim there - and given the cold morning, once we were in we didn't want to get out. Eventually we did, Ben said "All aboard, toot, toot!" and we were off again.

Don't panic! Sign just off the Stuart Highway. That's like no petrol from Newcastle to London. That's a long way.

After a long drive, Ben the driver suggested we got pizzas in Tennant Creek for dinner. We agreed as it was getting late and nobody was in the mood for cooking. Unfortunately Tennant Creek is so rough it makes Deptford look like Primrose Hill. The pizza place was closed - because the owner had had his jaw broken the week before by local youths - so we headed to Red Rooster (an Aussie KFC) past more gangs just wandering the streets. We were glad to get out of town and to our camp for the night - even though it was a horse farm with a distinctly horsey smell everywhere. A camp fire and some food helped though. As did two sleeping bags.

DAY 3: TENNANT CREEK TO ALICE SPRINGS

Next morning it was a very early start. Not because we had much further to go to get to Alice Springs, but because we wanted to be at the Devil's Marble for sunrise.

Sunrise near the Devil's Marbles.

Too big even for me to lose.

A dingo near the marbles.

We come in peace! The small stops along the highway will do anything to get people to stop and spend some money. This place is (allegedly) Australia's UFO central and they make the most of it with lots of newspaper clippings about sightings and weird cut-outs.

Despite the cold nights, up to this point we were techincally in the tropics. To the left of this sign we became non-tropical as we headed south of the Tropic of Capricorn.

Alice Springs - like Tennant Creek but bigger. Years ago I wandered round happily on my own. This time we were warned to get cabs everywhere - so I did. This is is the view from ANZAC hill.

And with that the second leg of the trip was over. Ben gave one more "Toot, toot!" and then it was an early night before an early start the next day.

Come back soon for more!

G'bye.

Cliff

Tales of of the Territory: volume 1 - Kakadu is not a song by Black Lace

G'day

So I'm back from my holiday now and keen to share the fun (and the not-so-fun) I had.

It was a tale of one territory (the Northern Territory), two cities (well, almost cities - Darwin, population 130,000; Alice Springs, population 30,000) and three trips. The first trip was to Darwin and then the national parks nearby, Litchfield and Kakadu. The second was down the Stuart Highway from Darwin to Alice Springs. The third was from Alice out to Uluru (aka Ayers Rock) and Kings Canyon. For more on the first trip, keep reading. For more on the other two trips, come back soon. And yes, there'll be lots of photos.

DARWIN & KAKADU
It started off well. Darwin, Australia's only tropical capital city (ie it sits above the Tropic of Capricorn and has warm to hot weather all year round), was great. There's not a huge amount to do, which was a good thing as I only had an afternoon and two evenings there, but there's a nice, laid-back atmosphere and the warmth was very welcome after Melbourne's miserable winter. An evening strolling around was rounded off by some great Japanese food down by the new marina area and then an early night, ready for an early start (the first of many!) at 6am.

It's always daunting but exciting geting on a bus that's full of complete strangers you're about to spend the next three days with, but luckily this group were great. Loads of British backpackers, nearly as many Germans (always good value), plus a few Dutch and French. So far, so good. Unfortunately our guide wasn't quite so great. Fairly new at his job he was defensive when he didn't know the answer to something, and disorganised when it came to just about everything that needed organising. Still the scenery was good, the sun was shining and we had lots to tick off the list.

Day 1. First stop, Litchfield National Park - we went swimming in the pool at the bottom of the falls

Litchfield again. This time the top of those other falls. If you weren't careful you could float down and drop over the cliffs in the previous pic.

A billabong. With a crocodile (not visible but apparently very big).

Traditional welcome - local guy spits water from the billabong over your head. No comment.

Brit backpacker Tom gives the digeridoo a try (he was pretty good).

If we'd had to rely on our spear-throwing skills for food we would have died of starvation very quickly.

Local girl showing us how to make dilly bags. They can take weeks to make and aborigines use them for collecting food

The first day was rounded off by a sunset cruise on the Mary River. There were lots of birds (the wetlands here are an ornithologist's heaven) but the main draw is the chance to see crocodiles.

Talking of crocs, here's a pretty big one (about 6 feet long). All the water around these parts is likely to have crocodiles in it, hence the signs everywhere warning against swimming.

Water lilies during the sunset cruise. After this it was off to camp to prepare dinner and curl up in a dodgy sleeping bag.

Day 2. Guess where we were. Not sure why I'm smiling as we'd had a 5.30am start.

View across Kakadu. Basically it's a vast national park in the far north of the Northern Territory, about as far from Melbourne as London is from Morocco. Australia's big.

To be honest, I was wondering what all the fuss was about with Kakadu. From a bus, all you see is mile after mile of forest with no real sense of its size or landscapes. So what should one do to better appreciate this natural wonderland? Spend a small fortune ($250, about £160) for a one-hour flight over it.

The town of Jabiru decided to build a hotel in the shape of the area's most notorious creature (a crocodile, in case it's not clear in the photo).

Twin Falls. Finally a chance to see just how beautiful Kakadu is. (Unfortunately one of the girls on the trip, who'd also decided to take the plane ride, was sick from the moment we took off until we landed - and didn't have time to reach for the sick bag at first! Noice. Luckily I was a few rows in front).

Kakadu escarpment and view over to Arnhem Land, a massive area under local aboriginal control.

Ubirr sunset. Day 2 ended with a trek up some hills in an area called Ubirr. There's lots of rock art here, dating back thousands of years and used to teach young people how to live according to the traditional customs. And then, of course, there are beautiful sunsets too.

Day 3. You have been warned.

Luckily no crocs in this pool, meaning we had a great time swimming here. There was a rather large, scary-looking spider though, right by the waterfall.

One man and his waterfall. And some little leeches (not visible)!

Rock art. There's a kangaroo and man in there. Sometimes the art tells a story, generally one with a moral lesson to be learnt from it, things like sharing food with others, not stealing etc.

A happy Frenchman! Gilles had been keen to see a termite mound up-close since day one, but only on the last day did he get the opportunity. They are quite impressive, all made by small worker termites in service to the much bigger queen.

So, as you can see, Kakadu was warm, sunny and (luckily) free of any crocodile incidents. After three days on the road it was back to Darwin for another night, before teaming up with a different group and a different guide on the next leg of the trip, down the Stuart Highway and into Australia's version of the Wild West.

Come back soon.


Cliff

Five years and counting

G'day

Been a bit quiet on the blogging front recently, primarily because winter in Melbourne doesn't offer much in the way of diversions. That said, I did have a visit to the zoo the other weekend, and on the 21st May 2011 I completed five years at Lonely Planet so made sure the whole weekend was suitably fun. Am off to the Northern Territory this Saturday for a trip that will take me from Darwin in the far north to Alice Springs in the very centre - hopefully something blog-worthy will happen over those 10 days so come back soon for more.

Day at the zoo
Melbourne Zoo is, I think, the third or fourth oldest in the world (is there anything in Melbourne that is number ONE in the world? Everything's third this or fifth that). A lot of the enclosures are as progressive as possible in a zoo - but not all of them. Still, it was enjoyable, especially the chance to see more wombats.

A crocodile - they're going to much bigger and much more dangerous when I get to the Northern Territory

Sleeping wombat. Aww!

This bird is real and huge. Black cockie (not sure about the spelling)

An echidna. One of those odd 'only in Australia' animals.

Five Year Celebration
So five years ago when I started at LP I didn't think I'd last five months, let alone be singing karaoke in Melbourne sixty months later. But I was.

Total Eclipse of the Heart. Several notes were not reached.

Daylesford
And still suffering a little bit from drink/the sound of my own singing voice, I had a day-trip out to Victoria's premium spa town, Daylesford. Weather wasn't great but it's a lovely place with some interesting old buildings, some great places to eat, and shops with fantastic names (see immediately below).

Just to the left of the still-slightly-hungover Cliffy is a cafe/delicatessen of the same name.

Pudding in a lovely winebar with a lovely real fire. In the background is a creme brulee with a rather extravagant biscuity thing on top. In front is my brownie with Persian fairy floss (the fairy floss is that blue stuff that looks like something you'd find on the floor of a barber's shop after Papa Smurf had had a haircut)



Enormous bric-a-brac place in Daylesford with a wedding dress for the bride who has everything but taste. Despite its enormousness I still couldn't find a lampshade for my bathroom. Sigh.


G'bye for now. See you post Northern Territory.

The original Cliffy

Everyone for coffee

G'day

It's been a while since I put some miscellaneous Melbourne musings into this blog so I thought I'd dedicate this post to things Aussies/Melburnians love - coffee and TV.

As mentioned last time, I don't really get coffee. It doesn't taste that nice and it keeps you awake, but people here are obsessed with the stuff so a few words on it are only fitting. Apparently it was post-WWII Italian immigrants who brought quality coffee to Melbourne, and these days cafes across the city are busy from early morning right through the day giving the caffeine junkies their fix. For some it's a skinny soy decaf flat white. For others it has to be full fat milk and full caffeine coffee. Or you can even forget the milk completely and have an espresso. If you do have cow juice though then expect your coffee to have at least a milky fern shape carefully poured onto the surface. And if you're really lucky some places manage to pour your milk in the shape of a face. As far as I'm concerned though, they could pour a picture of the Last Supper on a coffee and it wouldn't make it any more appealing to me.

It's a coffee people. Drink it and get over it.

And so to reality TV. Britain more or less invented the thing but has seemingly got tired of it. Australia, on the other hand, doesn't just like their reality TV. Oh no. They love it, and love it so much that the shows are part of the nightly schedule and run for months. Some are similar to those in the rest of the world. Australia's Got Talent; X Factor and Dancing With The Stars (Strictly Come Dancing) for example. But others are uniquely Australian. Biggest Loser is a programme in which overweight people lose their flab for money. This year's winner lost half her body weight and gained $100,000. That's pretty incredible - though not as incredible as the number of commercial breaks during the finale. And then there's Bondi Rescue (lifeguards guarding lives on, you guessed it, Bondi Beach in Sydney) and Bondi Vet (a vet in, you guessed it, Bondi Beach in Sydney).

But the Mother of all Australian Reality Shows has to be Masterchef. Yes, this exists in the UK but the Aussie version is bigger and (arguably) better. It starts with 50 contestants who, over more weeks than the average person should really dedicate to a TV show, are whittled down to one. No culinary task is too lowly (last night they had to cut potatoes into chips) or too mind-numbingly dull (in one series they spent the whole hour-long episode having contestants taste a Thai chicken curry and then identify each of the 22 ingredients) but it's hugely popular and, despite the most annoying short, fat, bald guy since Mini Me being a presenter, quite addictive. Which means that I'm now going to stop typing this to go and watch it. So, as a friend's mother used to say when we'd outstayed our welcome at her house, 'everyone for coffee'.

The Good, the Bad and the Annoying Short, Fat, Bald Guy

G'bye.

Cliff