It's my birthday and I'll wear shorts if I want to

G'day

Inevitably when you spend a year in a place you're going to have a birthday there. For me it was my 43rd and deciding what to do was tricky. Organising drinks with friends was the easy part. As was going out until 5am (getting up the next day wasn't quite so easy). But what to do on my actual birthday which fell on a Monday? Obviously I would take the day off work but I was at a loss as to what to do in Melbourne that I hadn't already done. At least three times. Read on to find out what I did!

So, after a lovely lunch with a lovely friend, I decided to take a walk through one of Melbourne's lovely parks. The weather the whole weekend had been great and on my actual birthday it was sunny and 28 degrees, and the park (Fitzroy Gardens, just east of the CBD) was in a very spring-like mood. The conservatory in the middle of the park was full of flowers (answers on a postcard telling me what they are) - nice eh?

One of the very few things I hadn't done in Melbourne was visit the Johnston Collection. This is a huge number of antiques and artworks displayed in a beautiful East Melbourne house (above). It was collected by an Australian who was slightly ashamed of his humble beginnings and so appropriated anything connected with wealthy aristocrats as he amassed more and money as an antiques dealer in London (he owned 33 properties in East Melbourne - one of the city's most expensive neighbourhoods). When he died he left his collection to the public and the house is now run by a charity with guides who take you on a tour. All very refined (though I did switch off when we were being shown the 52nd table with carved rosettes on the legs).

And then it was back across the park into the city centre and to the Hopetoun Tea Room for afternoon tea. Well, not exactly tea, more a chocolate ice-cream sundae and a huge piece of toblerone cheesecake. Bit full after all that. (Meant to take photo before I started but forgot, hence you get the remnants)

And then in the evening it was off to a pub quiz with some more friends. Bit of a rubbish quiz (lots of Australian sports questions) but a great end to a great day.

And on a less happy note, just four weeks till D(eparture)-Day and counting. Sad face.

G'bye for now.

Cliff

Tropical my arse

G'day

Another post, another trip to somewhere in Australia. This time it was a five-day jaunt up to Queensland and a stay in the "tropical", "relaxing" Whitsunday Islands (specifically Hamilton Island). Only, at around just 21 degrees during the day and with a cool wind in the evenings, it wasn't exactly "tropical". And I've realised I don't really know to "relax" - sitting still "enjoying" the view gets boring after at most five minutes. Anyway, enough speech marks. There were plenty of good bits on the trip too (though eating at the overpriced restaurants wasn't one of them) including the Great Barrier Reef, lots of swimming in the sea (top tip: take goggles so your eyes don't sting! Why had I never thought of this before?) and spotting some whales - see if you can spot them too in the pics below!

This is how people get around on car-free Hamilton Island. In golf buggies. At least people who have driving licences get around like this. Other, more vehicularly-challenged people, just walk.

Hamilton Island Marina. Some of the yachts are bigger than the ships that Colombus sailed to America in! I guess people who can afford to buy one of those can afford to pay £25 for a decidely average pizza in one of the marina restaurants.

There are some nice walks around the forested bit of the resort (though some were still closed after the huge cyclone that hit earlier in 2011). I followed the path to Pinnacle Peak where there were great views over the rather ugly apartment blocks and the rather lovely Catseye Beach (my ugly apartment block is second from the left). And I think the luminous blue thing bottom left must be a butterfly.

View looking the other way from Pinnacle Peak towards some of the other Whitsunday Islands (so named because Captain Cook first explored them on Whitsunday 1770-ish)

View of pale tourist with other Whitsunday Islands in the background.

The boat taking us out to the Great Barrief Reef may have been called Fantasea, but for most passengers it would be something of a nightmare. The ocean between the islands and the reef itself was a bit choppy which led to around 75% of those on board to vomit profusely (not me though - stomach of steel!). One woman even passed out and had to be given oxygen (while her two friends just continued eating their ice-creams - I doubt they're friends anymore!), while the crew rushed around handing out sick bags and scraping lemons to freshen the air. It didn't really work.

Reefworld! The brown sludgy thing in the background is 'the reef'. The small floaty thing in the foreground is 'the world'.

Yes, the Great Barrier Reef does look more like an oil slick rather than the largest living organism on the planet, but, honestly, it was better once you were under the water.

Outside I'm smiling, but inside I'm crying, imagining what I must look like dressed in this. Still the stinger suit (the blue thing - protects against small jellyfish that can sting and sometimes kill you) and the wetsuit kept me a bit warmer than I would have been without them.

I'd like to say that this is a so-and-so type of fish. But I can't remember what type it is. It was big though and swimming under Reefworld so let's call it Biggus Fishus Reefus.

So, Reefworld is a pontoon anchored by this stretch of the reef with showers, a shop and even rooms if you want to stay. From it you can swim off, snorkel on, to explore the nearest bits of the reef.

There's also a semi-submersible boat you can take with a glass bottom so you get to take photos like this one of the coral.

And this one.

Heading back from Reefworld.

Heading back from Reefworld and not taking photos looking directly into the sun.

Another day, another boat trip. This time to Whitehaven Beach on Whitsunday Island itself. This beach is regularly voted one of the most beautiful in the world.

The sand is brilliantly white and backed by a national park.

And the only way to get there is by boat. Your own private yacht for example.

Or, if you're a lot poorer, on an organised trip with lots of other people. And yes, you had to get off into the sea and then walk through the shallows to the beach.

View along Whitehaven Beach.

View from the top of the Solway Circuit Walk above Whitehaven Beach (not sure what the connection is with Cumbria but Solway and Whitehaven are both places in Cumbria - that look nothing like their Australian namesakes.

View from my balcony on the last day. What's that in the water?

And that was it. As relaxing as it could be for someone who doesn't know how to relax and, to be honest, despite the lack of tropicalness, rather a beautiful part of the world to spend a few days.

G'bye.

Cliff

Perth

G'day

As the countdown to my leaving Australia continues (just under two months - sad face) I'm trying to see as much of the country as possible, which meant that the weekend just finished I flew 2800km (1750 miles) to Perth, capital of Western Australia and as far from Melbourne as you can go without leaving the country. It's a long way to travel for a few days meaning I ended up doing the 'Benny Hill' runaround tour of the sights (minus the bikini-clad women) - exhausting but good fun. Mostly. The worst thing about Perth is the huge number of Brits who live there and who give the city's best going-out neighbourhood the dodgy feel of a provincial UK town (drunk, aggressive, loud). But let's ignore the negatives and concentrate on the positives. The weather was great (23 degrees and sunny - not bad for the equivalent of mid February in the northern hemisphere), there was quite a lot to do, and I got to swim in the sea (always a good thing in my book). So here's the moment you've all been waiting for - the photos.

Perth city centre skyline. The city was founded by Brit Captain Stirling in 1829 on the banks of the Swan River (named after the black swans seen there by the first Europeans to arrive, the Dutch in the 1690s).

A few miles west of the city centre are the beaches along the Indian Ocean. This is Cottesloe, popular with surfers and families.

Along the beachfront they've created their own 'walk of fame' but this one is local people not z-list celebs. Noice Aussie touch.

The Cottesloe Walk of Fame

Cottesloe sunset

City skyline. Yes again, but this time from the river on the ferry, heading out to Rottnest Island ($90/£60 for a day-return ticket - what a rip-off). The commentary was very good except the way she turned nouns into verbs (a fairly typical Australian thing) leading to such statements as 'He impacted the environment in a big way (instead of 'he made an impact') but eventually he suicided (instead of 'he committed suicide') and was farewelled by a large part of the population (instead of 'a large part of the population bid him farewell). Ridiculous.

Properties along the river go for big money. One last year was sold for $58 million (nearly £40 million). Apparently it has gold-plated toilet roll holders so it's very classy.

Rottnest Island - named by the same Dutch guy, Vlaming, who named the Swan River, and so-called because the quokkas he saw there made him think of giant rats.

And if you're thinking 'What the quok is a quokka?' I give you exhibit A m'lud.

And exhibit B. I think he was deciding on his best side. These things are unique to southwestern Australia and incredibly tame.

Lovely views of The Basin beach on Rottnest Island.

Why aye man, it's Geordie Bay.

You can hire bikes on the car-free island and cycle around. This is the western-most point, Cape Vlaming or West End. Not bad. It was whale season but I didn't see any.

Cliff makes it to the West End! I knew I'd get there one day. Is that a whale behind me? (No, it's not)

Beach with boats (couldn't think of anything else to say)

There are loads of shipwrecks around the island including this one from World War II.

Back on dry land, this is the Round Tower in Fremantle, the oldest building in what is now a suburb of Perth but was once a separate town and port. The Round Tower was used as a prison and built in the lovely local limestone.

This map inside the Round Tower shows just how big Western Australia is - look at the size of Britain and Ireland at the top. If it were a separate country, WA would be the 10th biggest country in the world. That's big.

Haha. In the continuing tradition of finding signs that incorporate my name here's one that should be taken very seriously.

Obviously they got the St bit the wrong-way round here here as it should clearly read St Cliff, not Cliff St.

The Shipwreck Museum in Fremantle is fantastic, especially the bit about the Batavia. This was a Dutch ship that sank of the WA coast in 1629 on the way to Indonesia. Most of the men, women and children (around 180 in total) made it safely to an island and a small rescue party left in a boat to get help. While they were away, one of the remaining men decided to make himself 'governor' of the survivors and ordered the murder of around 125 of them to help preserve the few resources they had. When the rescue party returned they captured the murderers, chopped their hands off and hanged them. Above is part of the ship that was salvaged, with, in the background, a cannon and a stone gateway that was on its way to Indonesia to form the entrance to a castle.

More treasure retrieved from the Batavia.

On my last day I did a walking tour around Perth to see some of the lovely buildings. This is the Post Office.

No, not some bit of York transported down under but the entrance to a 1937 shopping mall.

The 1937 shopping mall.

Massive Moreton Bay Fig tree outside the old hospital.

Looks like Hampton Court; is actually the governor's house.

Skippy had been down the gym (how many skippy jokes can I get into this blog before October?). Council office behind.

Perth theatre.

Exhibits in the Western Australian Museum are eclectic to say the least.

This is a real, live frog (in the museum)

And now for a geology lesson - sit up at the back. These things are called Stromatolites. They are only found off the Western Australia coast and are the oldest living things on the planet. See below.

Cool eh?

And that's it for now. Perth - long way to go for a weekend but good all the same.


G'bye.

Cliff