What the hell's an esky? And some generalisations.

G'day

What the hell's an esky indeed? Or for that matter a ute? Or bonbons? I grew up watching Neighbours (and occasionally Home & Away) but that didn't prepare me for Australian English in all its glory. Some grammatical points for those interested in conversing with the locals:

1. abbreviate any word you can and add an 'o' to the end eg arvo for afternoon. This is especially important for people's names eg Clifton becomes Clifto. If a person's name is already short add an 'o' to make it a bit longer eg Nick becomes Nicko.
2. as above but end the word with an 'ie' eg barbie for barbecue.
3. don't waste time saying long words, reduce them to their initials eg Australia's rolling out their version of Freeview which features an EPG (Electronic Programme Guide) and a PVR (Personal Video Recorder).
4. don't be so dull as to maintain the same intonation throughout a sentence, a sentence should always have rising intonation so that it sounds like a question even when it isn't?
5. swear. A lot.
6. realise that 'Good on yer' isn't necessarily a compliment eg "I'm sorry but I didn't do that thing you asked me to do", "Oh, good on yer!"
7. say "Aw yeah" as much as possible. It's possible (and sometimes preferable) to have a whole conversation using just this one phrase.
8. 'Grouse' doesn't mean a type of bird shot by posh people but 'cool'.
9. Don't say 'bonza' or 'ripper' - out of date now. Say 'grouse' instead.
10. know that an esky is an icebox (for keeping your tinnies in); a ute is a utility vehicle (basically a truck); and bonbons are Christmas crackers.

And while I'm on the subject of Cliff's Observations on Australia I've noticed that people here have a very different work ethic to the British. There is a real sense of 'Work Hard, Play Hard' here whereas the UK's attitude to the whole thing would best be summed up as'Work a bit, Go to the Pub'. If an Australian didn't get up at six to go to the gym, cycle into work, put in a nine-hour day, run home and then have a barbie with some mates he wouldn't consider it a day well spent. And notice that there's a lot of sport going on there. Some might say that's because the weather is conducive to outdoor activities. Some might say it's because there's a lack of cultural pursuits to indulge in. Some might say nothing for fear of offending Australians reading this.

And while I realise this is a rather ranting, photo-lite post, I can't go without mentioning what I'll label the Three Ts - TV, Transport and (T)radio.

• TV - having bought a new TV for my room in the new place I found out I also needed to buy an aerial as there was no cable from the one on the roof. Unfortunately, and despite buying the best indoor aerial available, I'm only able to watch three channels, two decent but rather worthy public service stations, and a very random Croatian channel which no-one has even heard of - but which my TV picks up with remarkable clarity.
• Transport - so bad it makes London look like a world leader. Trams are a nice idea but in practice are not so great when you run old-fashioned, one-carriage, non-airconditioned ones in the rush hour. People need to get on the trams to be able to use them, transport chiefs. And then once you get to the train station and have headed to the platform from which your train is soon to depart (according to the notice boards), there's nothing worse than then finding they've changed the platform but you have no time to run up the escalator and down the other one to the new platform. Instead you stand there, sighing/sobbing/swearing as your intended train comes and goes while you remain at the station.
• (T)radio - ok, so I cheated a bit on this one (it doesn't begin with 't' in case you hadn't noticed) but I had to mention that if TV is full of adverts (even the Croatian channel) then radio is even worse. Not only are there ads betwen songs but traffic reports, weather reports and even the news are all "brought to you by..." someone or other. And if you get to hear a song in amongst the inane ramblings of the presenters it's like Christmas has come early (but without the bonbons).

And there, reader, I'll leave it for now. More photos, less generalisations next time.

G'bye

Cliff